Jack Newman Breastfeeding Clinic

     Early last Thursday, we dropped Kaelynn off at my moms and headed towards Toronto. We were going to The Newman International Breastfeeding Clinic.
     Harlow was born with a lip and tongue tie that was causing pain and feeding issues. It needed to be corrected. With the help of people close to us, we were able to raise funds to make the trip.
     At the clinic, they assessed her and myself. It was determined that she did have ties and we weren't crazy. It was a simple procedure to get them releases though.

     Everything worked out and instantly nursing was pain free. I was given instructions on how to do stretches to help them not reattach & a recommendation for herbs for me to take. So far, I think the Motherlove MORE MILK PLUS is helping.

    We have a follow-up appointment this Thursday to check her mouth out again and make sure everything is how it should be. Here's hoping gas isn't extreme and PAN AM traffic is manageable.

Sound asleep

     Tonight is the first night that I've been able to get her to sleep without nursing. It was surprisingly hard, yet easy at the same time. For almost a year, she has been nursed to sleep every night and nap. After lastnight's horrible sleep, I needed to figure something out.
    Lastnight, bed time was perfect...except for the waking at midnight and then wanting to play until 2 am. Today, I was a zombie.
     Tonight, she had a mini nap (bad) and then woke up full of beans. She was jumping around the bed, making a nest, talking to the wall, harassing the cat, and trying to escape. Daddy is gone, babysitting someone else's kid, and I was left alone with this wild monkey. All evening, I was trying to nurse her down, but then she would get distracted. It was a case of "ooooh the wall. Oooh boob. Oooh ribbon on mama's housecoat. Ooooh boooooob". I was getting fed up.
     I grabbed her soft blankie and lay it down to swaddle her. She grabbed one corner, let me fold up the feet and grabbed for the other corner. Little baby burrito with her arms out. Next came the hard.part. I lay her against my chest and just held her, not letting her go. There was resistance. There was crying. There were forehead kisses and humming. Then she started to "wash her hands", suck her fingers and sing her sleepy song. Passed out without nursing. Win.
     The hard part is going to be transferring her to beside me.

First road trip

     Yesterday was our first road trip as a family. A few friends were going to a water park in Quebec with their boys & had invited us along. It was interesting to say the least.

     We get picked up & hit the road. She slept most of the way there, after staring at the boys for a while. We have a pit stop to stretch & I feed her the travel bottle I packed. Back asleep she goes.

     We finally arrive & change into suits. There was a children's splash pool that we waded in for a while. Lots of feeding due to being in the sun/ watching Daddy and the boys run off for the bigger slides. At one point, a mother and her daughter approached me. With everything that's been going around about breast feeding in public, my mind automatically went to they were going to tell me off. Instead, they offered to let me borrow their beach chair, but I was more comfortable sitting on the deck. (What got me was all the little babies around, there was a lack of breast feeding going on). After a feed, Kaelynn just passed out - to the point that I just placed her in her big girl stroller all bundled up to keep warm/sun free.

     One of the dads was unable to go on any slides. He was okay with watching a sleeping baby while I went on some slides - I paid admission, I should have some fun.
     I went down with my brother's girlfriend on most slides. We went down Black Magic a few times - an enclosed slide. Than Jake, a friends son, Kaitlynn and I went down Tornado Alley. The whole time I was screaming "I NO LIKE". The funnel spun it so I was backwards, plus it was dark.

     Jake deserves some sort of medal for being a baby wrangler. He spent most of the day riding with the younger boys or at least following them to where they wanted to go. He made sure an over zealous 3 year old didn't drown in the wading pool.

     We stayed at the park roughly 5 hours. Going home was a whole other story. Grumpy baby. 5 year old in the back, yelling to the front (then complaining about the screaming baby). We had to stop and get something to eat and feed/change her. Once on the road again, nothing seemed better. I gave her crinkly things to play with, fingers to suck. Nope. In the end, I had to creative nurse her. Lesson learned: for our zoo trip in 2 weeks for my bday, bring my battery powered pump.

Wait weight

     I stepped on the scale a few days ago and was very disappointed. It said I was 200 lbs. That's really nothing to me, since these past years I have been 180-200lbs. In my first months of pregnancy, I was 180ish lbs. Now I am up again to what I was. I severly dislike it. I am exclusively breast feeding, when people say you lose weight quickly, nothing is happening.
   I aim to walk everywhere that is manageable. This past week, we have been out and about walking downtown, even if it's just to get out (mostly because I've been forgetting things I need to pick up). To get downtown from my house, there are 3 ways. 2 ways you're on flat level and the 3rd, you go up hill. Even though flat level is easiest, I force myself to go up hill. I am developing serious stroller arm muscles. When it's warmer out, and she's a little bigger, I will babywear her (yay "weight training").
     .....If I  could just lose the 20lbs again.

*****
     Kaelynn is going to her first physio appointment tomorrow, so there will be an update on that. Her ultrasound is moved from May 14 to May 8th. It's bumped up but not by much.

The Reality of Reality

     I have been watching random reality tv on Netflix because I find it interesting. Shows like Sister Wives and Jon & Kate Plus 8. Jake dislikes that I waste my time with such nonsense because it just makes me dumb. I watch it because other people's lives who are vastly different from mine intrigue me. The other day Jake told me to get some friends if other people intrige me. It's hard for me to make friends. I just feel so awkward. Even at Mother's Circle, I feel strange and alien. I just feel like I don't fit in and I don't know what I have to do to fit in. I have some friends, but they have busy lives and even now I feel like I am a bother. I guess this not working time has been giving me time to reflect and feel lonesome. I know I have to change so Kaelynn will be able to interact and become a stable, friendly individual. I like to think I am friendly and approachable....

     I am currently making lactation cookies. I am on Domperidone, and taking Blessed Thistle and Fenugreek supplements. Anything I can do to help boost milk supply, more so since I think Kaelynn is going through a growth spurt. She's been sleepy, fussy, and wanting to nurse all the time. My production has increased, but it could be better. In a 2-3 day span, I can freeze about 5oz of milk.

     Kaelynn is currently sleeping, so I can clean up from baking and clean up the livingroom. I am also going to call around and see if I can find a Meyer Lemon tree/price of one. I would like Kaelynn to have a Birth Tree, only we rent. If I can find a reasonably priced container tree, that would be perfect. It can go in her room during the winter months, and I am thinking if it's citrus, the cats would leave it alone.

Lactation Cookie Recipe
 Preheat oven to 375F
... Cooking time 10-12 mins
Serves 36 cookies

1 cup butter/margarine **
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups flour
1 tsp salt
3 cups oats
1 cup raisins or chocolate chips
½ cup slivered almonds
2 tbsp brewers yeast
4 tbsp water
2 tbsp flaxseed meal

1. Mix flax and water and set aside for 3 mins (it makes a runny paste)
2. Cream butter and sugars, add eggs
3. Add flaxseed mix, then vanilla
4. Combine dry ingredients except oats, raisins, almonds.
5. Add butter mixture to the dry mix
6. Stir in oats, raisins/chocolate chips, and almonds
7. Using two teaspoons, drop dough onto non-stick cookie sheet
8. Bake for 10-12 mins at 375F
9. Remove from cookie sheet to cooling rack when they are warm, not cold, and not when just fresh out of the oven.
10. ENJOY!
1-4 cookies a day can help to boost milk supply as required. Avoid oats, flax, brewers yeast if you have an oversupply. Yummy cookies are safe for all ages and genders to eat.

**For a lighter cookie you can use 2/3 cup of becel light and 1/3 cup unsweetened apple sauce in place of the 1 cup of butter.**

No more weekly weigh ins

     Kaelynn had her weekly weigh in today and is up. She is 3.43 KG, which is almost 7.6LBS (according to my converter). They didn't say anything about her coming back next Monday and that her weight is on a good incline! I didn't even supplement at all last week to see what the difference would be. I suppose I still can to help boost her, but even now she's getting enough. She's alert, active, eats fine, enough diapers (however today has seriously been poosplosion day), I think she's more than fine. She is currently hiccuping her little heart out on my lap, while I soak my super rough feet.
     The one thing that stood out from her appointment was the thing on her neck. The doctor didn't think it was a swollen lymph node, but was unsure. It could be a cluster of salvatory cells that din't form or something else. They are scheduling her for an ultrasound and will see where to go from there. Once again, she is eating, alert, etc, so they're not too concerned -just have to keep an eye on it. Yes, I am worried, but she still seems like a normal, healthy baby girl.
     Afterwards, we met up with mom for lunch & the Dollarstore. I picked up Easter cards to go out. They will be late, but people will know I was thinking about them.There was just enough time to go to Mother's Circle & meet up with Cris ((shameless blog plug for her)) (and other moms I don't know). I am going back next Monday so I can see whar it is fully about, I was there 30 mins before the end. When it was all done, Cris and I went to Starbucks with another mom and just sat drinking and chatting. Their babies were out of their strollers, but they're also older than mine by a bit. Kaelynn just stayed asleep.
     Jake is almost home from work & has tomorrow off. I am debating on what I would like to do. Re-make her some baby leg warmers (the others were much too small), fix the baby sling I was making for Jake (too short), or bring out stuff to start on my belly cast (at least that can't be too small or short). I just know I have to file my feet & lotion up all my abnomally dryskin spots.

 

Blurbs from the Boyfriend

re:poosplosions

"Remember the deal? She could come home if you cleaned up all the gross messes"

(Uh...she's not a puppy)

Weight gain

     We just got back from her weekly doctors appointment. She's up. She is now 3.31kg or 7.3lbs. She's almost big enough for her cloth diapers. I tried them on her & they're WAY too huge. I also have a feeling that she knows when she has a doctors appointment because the night before she is fussier than normal. We basically just made it to the appointment because I dozed off. It didn't really matter. We were seen at 1030 and the appointment was for 10.
     We saw the lactation counsellor and she asked me about my supplementing. In her paperwork she gave me she said I could do 15-20ml of breast milk or formula at each feeding through the Supplemented Nursing System (feeding tube). I chose to do breast milk instead of formula. Today she commented that she didn't consider breastmilk to be supplementing, just a top up - "but if it works for you, like it has been.". She also asked about the pumping. "Do you feed and then supplement and then pump?". From my understanding, since she gave me an SNS, I was supposed to feed and use the SNS and then pump - which I have been doing. I put what I pump in the fridge to use at the next feeding. I've also been letting her sit on the boob for however long she wants. She's eating, peeing and pooping about every hour, so thats good. And she's no longer jaundice.
     She also has a swollen lymph node on the one side of her neck. *sad* It's going to be looked at on Monday. Basically, we have to keep an eye on it. It could be allergies, hormones, or like if a bug bit her.
     Having a baby is hard.
     Saturday morning was lovely. I had just fed her and she got the hiccups. Nothing unusual there. I was looking at her and she then proceeded to puke right in my face. Gross. I was in shock, so I just wiped it off and sat her upright. Then, like a puke fountain, it just spewed from her, onto the blanket I put under her. Not too bad. She's almost a month old and this is her first real puking (she's had some spit up before). I'm now scared whenever she gets hiccups -after almost every feed. I picked up gripe water and Ovol for her. I have no idea what I am doing as a mom.

    
     She's currently in her vibrating bouncy chair, if I turn it off she SCREAMS. I'm going to make lunch and possibly work on her leg warmers. She's getting solid pink ones.

Little Miss

                                                  Me at 4 months                                         Kaelynn at a week

     I don't think she likes to go to the doctor's. She was up most of the night being alert and fussy. Plus, about every hour she would dirty her diaper, almost clock work. We spent the night in the chair watching Big Brother Canada. Everytime I thought I could put her to bed, she would be up again in about 20 minutes. Jake got a new position at work, and a new starting time - 7am, so I've been trying my best to let him sleep.

     She is still underweight, she is 6.9lbs.She still needs to be supplemented, now every other feed. I also picked up some Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle, since the doctor said they can go together. They said her jaundice is looking good. The rash in her groin/underarm rolls is looking good too. Yes, she's tiny, but she is strong (at least I think so, not like I have much new born experience).

     I wish it would start to warm up, so we can go for walks without me having to worry about her still freezing. Plus, I think it would help me lose weight. I am not yet at my pre-preg weight and closer to 200lbs.
     To get to the doctor's today, we took the bus. I was hoping there would be no wheel chairs, old people, or other baby carriages. Well, there were old people. The bus slowed down near one stop, and some old woman was like "oh..I hope they're not letting on another stroller". Meanwhile, this woman got off at the next stop anyway.

     Time to wake the babe up for a feed and tire her out to get her to sleep later!

I don't know how it's done

     Sure, she looks all cute and cuddly now, but you should have seen her lastnight.
Jake went to his Thursday paintball meeting lastnight and Kaelynn was fine and in bed. However, throughout the night when it came time to feed her, she got fussy. I had her in bed with me and she was fine, ie: less fussy. Around 3am, when daddy came home, nothing could soothe her. We went to the chair and watched tv/slept/fed. This morning it was a bit more of the same. I took advantage of her crying fit to give her a bath, she would cry anyway. It seemed like she wanted to feed every hour. I let her. The pamphlet from the lactation coach said it was ok for short snacks, 10mins, so I did that.
I have taken 2 of the 3 pills so far of Domperidone. We'll see if that helps increase my milk. At least giving her the Supplemental Nursing System (feeding tube) is getting better.

     I have no idea how people who have twins or even babies close in age do it. My younger brother and I are 18 months apart, and that seems close. Mom had to deal with 2 toddlers and a new born. Crazy. I would have gone crazy. I feel like I am going crazy now.
     I felt fine after the pregnancy, but now I just feel like crying randomly. It's even worse when shse doesn't want to be fed, diaper doesn't need to be changed, she won't burp, and holding her doesn't help.

     She's asleep and needs a feeding soon. I am going to go prep her SNS with the 1.5oz I pumped earlier and brown some beef cubes for stew

Doctor's Visit

     Lasr night sucked.

     Kaelynn was crying & fussing. Jake got annoyed so he put her to bed.She was still crying. I went in to try to soothe her. She was fussy for about an hour. I burped, changed, fed, rocked her. I told Jake to go to bed since he worked at 7am. I felt frustrated & started to cry. Around 1:20, I went to put her to bed, since she was passed out across my lap, tired from being latched on for about 2 hours (nursing & soothing). I went to bed, but it only lasted 20 mins. Back to the livingroom. Repeat what I did earlier & latched on again for 2 hours. More crying involved. We both ended up just sleeping in the chair.

     This morning, she had a weigh in. She's not gaining. She's 6.7 lbs from 7.4lbs (or 7.6, depending on which KGH forms used). We were told to supplement 15-20ml each feeding. We could do formula or breast milk. I was given hosing that goes into a bottle to try it that way, it just sneaks into her mouth when she's on the boob. I was also prescribed medication to help with milk production. Apparently, with my hormones, that's what could be hindering me. With supplementing with breast milk, I don't think I even produce that much in a day. She was weighed before & after a feed. When she eats, she gets at least 1oz in her, but thats not enough. We'll do that until Sat and on Monday she goes back to the doctors.
     The doctors also looked at her rash & they think it could be a yeast. I was told to keep using a barrier on it and to make her meds from the ER last for 7 days instead of 10.

     I managed to get photocopies of forms for her Universal Child Benefit & mail things away. I went to Shoppers to get a new botte to use for her supplementing (so I can mark it & damage the nipple to hold the hose). I was going to go to Camera Kingston and print things out, I forgot. I was going to go to City Hall and pick up garbage tags for tonight, I forgot. I did get to the bank to deposit a cheque and the grocery store.  That was an adventure. I was pushing Kaelynn in the stroller and pulling my shopping cart, trying to maneuver around the corners.  I managed to get a whole cart for under $150. This makes me glad since I am still waiting on EI information.

My little T-Rex is curled into a ball on my chest, asleep. It's time to move her to her chair so I can grab some fruit salad & water. I am also cold and need a sweater. Damn you snow storm.

I feel like a bad mom & keep crying now.

First Doctors Appointment

     Today Kaelynn had her first doctor's appointment. I suppose it went well. She's down about a pound (6.6lbs now)(They had some numbers 3.02, I assumed they were kgs and just converted them), but they said that's normal. She is also a tad yellow, but they didn't seem too concerned. We also met with the lactation coach that's at my doctors. She helped and got Kae to suckle from the side she doesn't much like. She also suggested a nipple shield, so I picked one up to try it out. We'll see. Pumping seems to be going well. As much as I don't think I am getting alot, they seemed fine with it: roughly .5-1oz. (My weight: 199lbs)

     I am thankful to Christine (Jake's mom) for our Moses Basket. I put her to bed around 8:30 and she's been in there about an hour. She was fussing after her PJs were put on, as soon as she was plopped in her basket, she was out. It's time to wake her in 20 mins anyway for her feeding before I go to bed too.

     Yesterday I was able to put my ring back on! HURRAY! I was s worried we would have to get it resized. Granted, just now I had to fight to get it off...but we're getting there.

     Anyway, enjoy this picture from the doctor's office.

Something smells funny

     She slept in her crib! For the past 2 days, we've been testing her out in the crib. It was 20 mins at first, then 45, then practically all night! I am happy dancing. I am also do grateful that Jake's mom got us a Moses Basket. It's being shipped, but I can see that making life easier. I am trying some sort of sleep routine. In bed at 8pm, up at 7am. I am hoping that even though she is too young to understand routine, it helps (even if it doesn't really make sense to me because she sleeps alot). She's currently on me for some skin time.

     Lately, I've been getting cold chills. Not just normal chills, I've had goosebumps, shivers and chattering teeth. It sucks. I've read that it's hormones.
     The cats are still being good. Sleeping through her crying & sometimes even coming over, concerned. They sniff her head & feet & stay out of the crib. Maybe they think she's a bald, funny smelling cat?

     I called TeleHealth Tuesday night to ask a nurse about Kaelynn not really pooping or peeing as much as she should. She suggested feeding her every 1.5-2 hours and to take her to the doctors on Wednesday morning. Done!
     The next morning, I gave her to dad to snuggle in bed while I peed. Next thing I know, Jake is telling me she pooped. And boy did she ever. The look on Jake's face over her poo explosion made me laugh so hard. He said I was in charge of that while he went to run her bath. She had a scheduled doctors appointment on Thursday afternoon, so no doctors on Wednesday since she pooped.
     Wednesday afternoon, she was left alone with Jake while Cezar, her girl, and I did errands. Walmart, hunting down a game for Jake, and groceries.  I found out FreshCo has a healthy baby program- hello free monthly prenatals. In that time (3hrs), Kaelynn drank 2oz of pumped milk.
     I don't think my milk has really come in yet. I try to pump and get maybe 1oz, sometimes less, from both sides. I am worried she's not getting enough food. I keep trying to pump & forcing boob upon her. However; lastnight I gave in & she had a bottle of formula because even tho she was hungry, she wouldn't eat. A few hours later, it came back up. I cleaned her up, but she still smelled like she was partying. Jake picked her up & wanted to snuggle- until he smelled her & gave her back to me. I figured I would be the squirmiest one, guess I was wrong.
Feeding her this morning made me happy. Instead of lots of 5min feeds, she ate for roughly 20mins and then a 5minute feed at the end. Something inside me told me to play Great Big Sea. She kept her latch and kept sucking. I am not sure if it was a fluke, or if she likes GBS. We'll try later.

     Like I said before, today is her first doctors appointment. Update later.

5 days old

     Hi there Miss Funny Face. How's life treating you?? It's hard being a baby in this big scary world.

     We're trying to get a schedule down for Kaelynn, started yesterday. For one, she hates her crib & likes to be held. Thankfully, yesterday she was in it for 45 mins. Then, it was BFing time & her bath. Even tho we used night time stuff, it should have been bath first then feeding. She did manage to stay in her crib about 2 hours, then was up with daddy.
     A schedule will help her routine, and help with the end of this week when Jake goes back to work. We've shared her during the day, Jake has had her at night (waking me up), and I've had her from about 430am to whenever Jake gets up.
     Lastnight was good for crib time, but not for pooping. She's peed alot & has been fussy. Her stomach isn't hard or anything...but if nothing happens tonight, someone will get a phone call.

     She's asleep, so I think I am going to stick her in her bouncy or on daddys lap. I have to clean up my area- I have papers & snacks scattered around. I even dealt with OSAP this morning, so we'll see what paperwork they send me now that the household has increased.