Monday, May 27, 2013

Parental post-partum depression

This is a hard one for me to write. It doesn't just concern me, but J. 
     Everyone is always so concerned with the mothers post-partum depression, but what about the fathers? 
     This comes after trying to put Kaelynn down lastnight. I put her to bed & she started to scream bloody murder. J picked her up & she just kept screaming. I went in the room & apparently she stopped screaming- all I could hear was her screaming still. She just got distracted because someone else came in the room. I took her from Daddy & gave her some boob. That calmed her, it's my default.
     I try to explain to him that she sees me 24/7. That when she's fussy, I stick a boob in her mouth. It's nothing against him. 
     When he comes home from work, she's happy & talkative. She likes the time spent with him. She gets inconsolable when she's overtired & there's not much anyone can do. Lately, we're back to sleeping on the couch because she keeps waking during the night. 
     I just don't know what to do about the emotions hanging heavy around the house. I'm dealing with feeling sad & useless & taken for granted then throw in his feelings of useless & being unloved by his baby, it just makes things worse. I feel all the emotions swirling around & am tired/stressed. They say it gets easier...I think they lied. 

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Miss Rollie's Update

Picture from our Picnic
     Lastnight was hard. Kaelynn went to bed, but it wasn't easy. In the end, we slept on the couch again. From 8:30pm, she was up every hour. Around 11, I decided to give up on putting her to bed and got cozy on CouchTopia. She quieted right down and went to sleep. Until, she was sleeping and let out the creepiest cry/scream I have ever heard from her. She sounded like a cat being stepped on. Thankfully, she only did it once, but it freaked me out.
     Thursday, she had her second physio appointment. Things are looking good. She is still tight when it comes to turning her neck, but she is doing it more often. We learned a new hold for her neckercise. I hold her and pin her shoulders with my elbow, I have to try to convince her to look right and than finish the rotation of her neck. For her left side, same hold. I tilt her and make her ear go to her shoulder. For the baby's righting movements, her left side tries to right to the center when tilted, but when it's her left, she just dangles. Work those baby muscles!
     Speaking of working her muscles; yesterday while Daddy was at the dentist, Kaelynn decided she wanted to roll over again. This time, I was able to take pictures because the electronics were cooperating.


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Sitting and sleeping

     Even though we usually fight sleep during the day, Kaelynn slept through the night lastnight. I put her down to sleep around 8:30pm and when I woke at 3am from lack of noises, she was fast asleep. I picked her up and feed her while she was still sleeping. I put her back in her bed, expecting a fight- and nothing. She slept until about 6am, when Daddy had to get up anyway. Yet, I feel more tired than when she sleeps with me. She needs to learn to sleep alone...and I've noticed the right side of her head seems to be going flat(no one else has noticed).

     We're working on sitting up, unassisted.Today she sat for 3 seconds! Go baby girl. Today we also met up with an old friend from highschool. Deanna and her son Jacob met us for Coffee. She spent most of the time chasing around her 1 year old. I am excited/nervous about that stage. We then packed up and went for a walk downtown. On the way, I did some errands, and forgot one thing I was downtown for. If my mind were the ocean, I'd constantly be lost at sea.

      Tomorrow, I wanted to attempt swimming again, but we have to wait around for the cable man. Exciting. Thursday, we go back to see the physiotherapist. Right now, we're waiting around for a thunderstorm, so I should start dinner -just in case (its funny- most of my posts end with me going about to make dinner).

     I was trying to upload a picture of MY lemon tree, but it was failing, so here is a Google image of what it will look like with lemons.

Friday, May 17, 2013

A rolling good time

      At 3 months and 1 day, Kaelynn rolled over from tummy to back. I admit it. I cried. It was a total shock. I placed her down on her Baby Einstein mat and looked away for one second, literally, to get a drink. I look over and she's on her side, squirming. I left her turtling for about 5-10 minutes, cheering her on. Her left arm was stuck under her for the majority of the time, but it was worth it. She rolled over and was a grumpy, accomplished baby. I had happy tears!

     I am sure neckercise is helping, even if she dislikes it. Thankfully, she is only screaming half the time now. I took picture proof that she can look to the right with her whole head, instead of cheating like she usually does. She has become a pro at using just her eyes or wiggling her body to look at something right.

     She has been showing more interest in her toys now. I am making sure she has a different one to hold and touch, so she can get her tactile senses up and running. Yesterday, a friend and I took Kaelynn out to Lemoine's point for a picnic. She got more sights and sounds into her, and even laid in a bed of dandelions (a dumb thing to do as I had to OxyClean her clothing).

     She's been sleeping good lately. Her bedtime schedule is (bath sometimes), bed time diaper, lotion, neckercise, feeding, sleeping on me until she's really out, place her in her bassinet with her mobile and night light, and walk away. She's in bed between 8-930pm every night and usually sleeps until 1 or 2 am. From there, we go to the couch to feed her because it's more comfortable for me...but then I usually fall asleep with her in my arms.

     Kaelynn is all cozy in her bouncy chair with hiccups, sucking on her hands. I am going to take this opportunity to take the clear polish off my newly cut claws, and work on my cuticles. We have to get her ready to go out and pick up her Birth Tree. Huzzah! She's getting a lemon tree! <3
     I was looking online lastnight for a family ring and dear lord, those things are pricy. My current ring was $80 incl taxes. The rings I saw were about $180...*shock face*

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Happy Three Months

     Happy 3 months of surviving with us, Kiddo.
      Today seems to be spit up day, but I can deal with that because you're so cute.
What have you managed to do so far? You've found your hands, only projectile vomited 3 times, you're gaining weight & growing hair like a champ, you're sleeping in your bed for most of the night (or at least 3 hours or so). You're being super amazing.
     Neckercise is going good, she is looking more to the right side. On the 23rd, we go back to the COPC for a physio check up.
     Sunday was my first Mother's Day. Jake was at work, so it was just us two. It was chilly out, so we stayed in all day. We were going to walk to the Memorial Centre market, but I wanted to hibernate.There is also next Sunday. I spent the day cuddling and cleaning. Yay for purging, since we need to do a dump run anyway. When Jake came home, he said I could have anything I wanted for dinner. I defaulted and chose pizza.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013


     Today Kaelynn had the ultrasound of her throat & hips. A 9:30am appointment- early for us.
     We get there and I am thankful that the tech had a student for 2 reasons. 1, she explained everything she was doing and everything on screen. 2, there were extra hands to hold Kaelynn's leg how it had to be, while I tried to keep her calm.
     All in all, it was a good appointment and everything was good. She was called "the perfect patient" at the end of it. Her hips were at 70% angles, and anything over 60% is good. Her sternocleoidmastoid on the left side of her neck was perfectly straight, the right side was just a jumbled mess -but we're stretching it multiple times daily.
     The tech was a 40+ year old woman & she was really impressed with the cloth diapers, we had a discussion. When she had babies, she cloth diapered. Only at that age, hers were velcro and she put plastic covers over them- mine were pocket snappies. She liked the plain blue one she had on, but was even more excited when she saw the polka dot AMP diaper I brought out to change her into & the spare cow print AMP in my bag. I am sure the student tech was wondering why we were so excited.
     Afterwards, we went to Neil's Flowers in Sydenham on the hunt for a citrus tree for my baby. I am seriously into having a birth tree for her. They called the distributor & couldn't get orange trees, so I will be getting a mini lemon or lime tree. He told me the price and it seemed reasonable - under $100 by far.
     McDonald's was for lunch. It's McHappy day. We even brought Jake a Big Mac, half my fries & an iced coffee. It's not healthy, but the money goes to a good cause (we stayed at RMH when CHEO fixed my lil bro's lazy eye when he was a baby).
     Baby is nursing & im going to attempt to paint my toes when she's milk drunk. Mother's Day is this Sunday. It will be my first, so then I will post my handmade presents. Kae and I have plans to go to the market at the Memorial Centre since it's the opening day of the season. YAY!!
     Off topic of the ultrasound, yesterday we went to the mall to have her 3 month pictures taken by a friend that works at Sears. We took the bus as I don't drive, so it's nothing new for us to be on the bus.
The A/C was up high and the driver was driving crazy. I always stand so people who need to can sit at the foot of the stroller (I brought the stroller because I was going to pick up 8L of chocolate milk for $8 on the way home), I had to hang on for dear life going around corners.
    Kae and another young baby, 6 months or younger, started to cry about half way to the mall. Both of us mothers were trying to calm our kids, because we know a crying baby isn't all that pleasant for anyone. The driver,not so politely, basically told us to "quiet the babies".
     The one mother took her kid out of his stroller, which to me seemed unsafe. I stuck my finger in Kae's mouth.
     Once I got to the mall, I called in a complaint. It's not like she's 6 and understands what "quiet" means or is older and swearing up a storm...they are BABIES.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Airing dirty laundry

    I never thought cloth diapers were gross, I always thought they were kind of neat and cute. I mean, big bottomed babies in adorable prints.
     We have been cloth diaperig Kae for about a month. She is not cloth diaper exclusive - at night she is still in newborn swaddlers.I must say, they are just as easy as using disposible diapers. And definately cheaper. For the 2 months that Kaelynn was too small for our One Size diapers, I have a feeling we already spend about $100 on diapers (and that was buying them on sale). We still are going to use disposibles at night/if we go away (hahaha), but I am a total sale purchaser. I picked up a box of size 3s on sale for $12, and she's still in newborns.
     To get started, I washed my diapers about 4 times to prep them and make sure everything was absorbant. Most of my diapers are pockets, meaning I have microfiber inserts that need to be stuffed. Wash, dry, stuff, use. After I got the hang of the risers for sizing, easy peasy - even Daddy can do it. However, Daddy has not rinsed the dirty diapers or changed a #2 diaper...he can't do it without gagging.
     I have had a few leaks, mostly because she still has chicken legs, but no blowouts or rooster tails.
     The diapers we have are sized 8-32 lbs, so they should last for a while (as she is about 10lbs at almost 3 months old).
     I feel a kind of sick glee when I think cloth diapering is fun. There are lots of prints to look at, I could even attempt to make my own diapers, she can run around pantless and be fluffy butt adorable. We have about 38 cloth diapers that most (give or take 4) that will fit her until 32lbs, so I am told that we don't need any more for her - but when I see a pretty print I have to restrain myself and I have banned myself from Etsy.
     I am by no means an expert at cloth, nor am I "ALL MAMAS SHOULD DO THIS!", but I think if capable (not having to use the laundrymat all the time etc), mamas should give it a try.
They are stored in a wet bag in the bathroom, hanging off the shower hook, they are washed with only themselves & now that it's nice, they are hung outside.
     All this talk of diapers has made Kaelynn excited & now I get to practice what I preach.

...and just for laughs

Thursday, May 2, 2013


     Yesterday, I took Kaelynn to the YMCA for Little Splashers swimming with her friend Zacharey (Cris). Everything was going good until about 20 minutes in when she started to get cold - blue lips cold. She was crying. I kept trying to move her around, but she was having none of it. Swim time was over.
     Even if swimming didn't go as well as could be expected, she looked adorable in her swim diaper & bathing suit.
     Swimming was only $4 as a drop in rate, so we will go again. Jake wanted me to take pictures, but there were posts all over for no cameras/phones. A mother had a camera in the pool & no one said anything. Jake can come sometime too.