This post might upset people, so I am letting everyone know.
I have basically spent every night sleeping on the couch with the baby on my chest. It's not ideal & is frowned upon by health care professionals. When we sleep in our bed, she's in the crook of my arm. We can not sleep like this forever, so we have been attempting to bed train to the best of our abilities. Kae is almost 2 months old, and we know she is still young & needy. However; we would like for her to like her bed sometimes. Grandma Christine bought her a lovely Moses basket that just looks so cozy.
Here is where the upsetting part is. We have been letting her cry it out. Not all the time mind you. There are just some nights where The Witching Hours are unbearable. She keeps screaming & crying and nothing will soothe her. We put her to bed & wait. I go in & check on her. When she gets screaming like someone is killing her, I pick her up and she stays with me. I feel bad, but I can only handle so much screaming & when I can not soothe her, I feel so inadequate. After her next feeding, we're usually asleep on the couch together anyway.
One friend I was talking to got me really upset when we were talking about this. All families/people are different. We are a new family & I have NO experience with babies. We are trying to find what fits for us. There are some nights where Jake can bundle her up & she's out like a light until boob time, other nights she's just a monster T-Rex. Sometime during the day I can put her in her bed, other days she just wants me all the time. This is a learning period. I know CIO has damaging effects, but sometimes I feel like there is nothing else I can do, even when I go to check on her.
Kae will probably be sleeping with me for a long while. I don't plan to fully bed train until she's older & has more understanding of being alone & why she is there. Jake doesn't want a toddler to be permanently in the bed.
During the day, all her needs are met & even when she's being a monster I try. When she needs to sleep, is inconsolable & her little eyes are so red, I am usually feeling the same way.
I don't think this is coming out how I wanted it to, but we're trying our best!